Leslie Nipple ([info]ivegotthecrack) wrote,
@ 2009-06-13 01:48:00
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i went to the movies tonight with Syl and Jade to see Away We Go.
It was beautiful. it captured everything it set out to capture including myself.

Afterwards I felt inclined to go see Alex just to hug him once and smell his scent. He had some green juice for me and I drank it and started to feel cold symptoms coming on. We essentially agreed it had to be because my body is happy with the nutrients it's receiving from the green juice and according to my love, illness is a detoxification process. I'm okay with that. "Wonderplanets", the guy who has quickly become Alex's raw guru, opened my mind tonight a little bit and gained one point in my favor.

My unhealthiness is reaching a peak. My eating process is not okay in content or flexibility or even consistency. I want to get better, I want to get better. For me. I've given Alex my consent to use cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques, as seen on the new A&E show "Obsessed", and expose me to my most uncomfortable of situations that is eating green. We rate my aversion to it highest being 10 and lowest being 1. I plateau at an 8, or have been doing so.

My mom lost her job today. That situation too reached a peak. People apparently don't like it when you get tired of their bullshit and decide to speak up. I'm trying to keep from letting this one affect me too much. Lately I've been letting plenty get to me, too much. It's not something I like, it's something I feel less control over especially when things seem to rain on me like catapulted bags of fire shit. Like my net isn't big enough. I think that when things like this or when, rather, periods of my life like this have happened, I mean huge titanic transitions, I try to find things to control to compensate for the lack of control I feel. It's one big power struggle mainly with myself. This is where the problems in my relationships come in and where I let my emotions take over. With everybody, including my sister now. Mind you my sister was the one person I never thought I would get in a real argument with and the other day I saw myself get really snappy and even say Shut Up maliciously. How wack is projecting stress like that. Truly.

My point in all of this is to say... watching Away We Go is time well spent for anybody.



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[info]aquariumdrink_r
2009-06-13 10:17 am UTC (link)
it's so easy to snap at people in everyday life, and so hard to catch/stop it. i'm glad you're conscious of it though... i mean, so many people who project don't realize they're doing it. i definitely don't.

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